Birthday Boys

My brother turned eleven on Friday, meaning a whole world of chaos would erupt on Saturday when his party started. Since I am not eleven, and I am not a boy, I had no idea how this was going to end. Four tweenagers, three two-liter bottles of soda, and hockey skates. Lord help us.

My expression throughout the entire night. Schmidt understands me.
Courtesy of Mashable

Best Quotes:

"<boy's name>, you look really tired"
*stands up* "Oh no, I can party all night long"


Boy: "So if you see an ugly guy at school you go like this..." *goes in for high-five* "Oh wait!" *takes hand back and combs through hair* "smooooth!"

When I asked for a recording of that one of the boys said, "Suure baby, for five dollars I'll do it for ya!" Like when did you become a fifth grade smooth-talker? Oh and did I mention, I never got that video... why did I trust eleven year old boys?


*looking at a picture of the local figure skaters*
Boy: "Hey, bro, which one do you think is the hottest?"
Me: "B-but they're ten!"
Boy: "Still hot am I right?" (mind you, they're eleven)

When playing Slender (starring moi as Slender):
Me: "Just tell them that Mom wants all the boys inside for hot cocoa, they'll have to come down!"
Boy: "Oh no... that's too evil." His face was pure shock and amazement in my malicious plan.

And So it Began...

The party commenced at four in the afternoon, which if you ask me was several hours too early. The boys ran in one by one up the stairs to play Minecraft. Oh yeah, they're super cool. After my mom and I got tired of hearing them yelling loud enough for Zeus to hear, we decided to take the party to the ice rink.

I've decided that ice skating makes me feel completely inferior. First there are the people who can skate, the people who think they can skate, and then the people clutching the wall. I am the second person. When there are kids of all ages skating around you the only thought in your head should be, "Just keep skating, just keep skating, skating skating." I nearly died several times. 

To add to my enjoyment, the boys selected me of all people to be Slender because "dude, your sister is so creepy, she'd be the best Slender!" What. Since when did I become the scariest thing known to eleven year old minds? Thanks boys, you're great.

Are you serious? We all know I am a fangirl not a creeper! Oh wait...

The night ended with my mother and I enjoying the entire first season of Reba. Binge-watching tv runs in the family I guess! I'm so proud of me, I made it through the night. Now we just have to wait for 363 days until the next birthday party, greeeat.

Adios amigos,

I'm a survivor